Holy this and that..

I like the expressions "holy crap" and "holy cow." It just makes me chuckle on the inside... call it crazy if you want, or don't.. I don't care. I was thinking about the word holy lately so I figured I had to share some thoughts. The other day playing laser tag with some students, I said "holy cow!" to one of them and they said where did that phrase even come from. I had no freaking idea, so I said the first thing that came to mind with my witty Walterness: "In India, the people believe cows are sacred and holy, and the American people think that's hilarious because we eat cows. So we took the phrase and made it into something that would mock other people." Totally bought it. I let them know after I said it that I really had no idea, and I still don't that was just a fun side note. But anyways, I was thinking about holy, and I looked up the definition on dictionary.com and it says "specially recognized as or declared sacred by religious use or authority; consecrated" and "dedicated or devoted to the service of God, the church, or religion" as the first two definitions. Combining those.. I make it out that holy is a word that means "set apart." Hear me out before you go ape spit. The Word of God, that is so magnificent and "set apart" from all else is the Holy Bible. His Spirit, is none other than the Holy Spirit. He calls His people to be holy, because we are not to fall into the pits of the world like the crowd, we are to be "set apart." So this is changing gears fast... but thats how my brain works so deal, but what does being holy mean to me? I think of my life... and what I'm involved in and the biggest thing I think of is my marriage, a.k.a. Holy Matrimony. On June 13, 2009 in front of God, family, and friends I made a commitment that stated I was choosing this woman, to be "set apart" from other women. I will not set her in the same basket as other women, and I will not allow myself to raise other women to her level.. she is "set apart" forever. This is where a confession comes into play. I have not followed through on that promise all the time. There have been times that I compare my wife to other women and think things like, "well if she would do that, I might be happier" or "if the house would be clean, I would be happier." Sure, there are the good things like going to Wal-Mart and seeing some lady dressed up like garbage looking crazy and smelling terrible and I think "Thank God my wife is not like that." So my confession part is that I suck sometimes, but the second part of that comes the apology. To my wife, and potentially anyone else reading this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that the words in my head have not been more of just the "Thank God for what He has given me." In all cases I want that. I have been praying about it all day and I want that forever to be etched in my heart. Thank God for the woman he made specifically for me, whom I am to make holy and "set apart" from everyone else. I cannot express with words how much I love my wife, partner, and best friend...But I can say Thank God. Friendly piece of advice to anyone and everyone who wants it: It is best not just to marry the woman you love, but to always love the woman you marry. That is all.

What the...

Ok, so yes it has been a long time, but who cares. It happens. I've been very busy lately and honestly just don't think about spreading my brain all over a page all the time, but I do want to get back involved with this because its nice to get things out there. So anyway a brief update since last post. My car is officially gone, it was a rod knock that would have cost nearly 5 grand to rebuild the engine, and it just wasn't going to be worth it for a 10 year old car. After a lot of the car sitting in front of my house with me wondering what to do about it... Jen and I decided to really start looking for a new one. We had been talking for a good while about a Dodge Nitro, and had looked at several at the dealership I bought my Sebring from. As God would have it, we found basically the exact one we wanted for the exact price range we were looking for almost. I got to thinking and just decided it couldn't hurt but ask... so I mentioned my old car and talked about trade-in value. They said they wanted to see the car and such before they could make a decision and I said well I can't drive it here and I can't afford to tow it out here and possibly have to tow it back. So they thought about it and ran some numbers... came back and said we will give you $500 for it without seeing it and tow it at our expense and if its worth more we will cut you a check. I said deal, because honestly it needed to go. So we went forward with the Nitro purchase. Let me just say, Jen and I both LOVE this car. It's exactly what we wanted and it just was perfect timing for us. I'm a bit nervous because for the first time in my life I will have a car payment, but I know we'll be able to make it work. So there's that. Also, Jen and I have begun the first steps in the In Vitro process, so prayers there please. It happened at the time my job sent me out of town, naturally, and is an incredible burden on Jen and I can't wait to be able to start helping her more. So for upcoming events, be prepared for frustration, tears, stress, and all the good stuff. On a more positive note, last night I have officially had enough and am ready to take getting into shape seriously and to work on it very hard. I do not want to bring a child in this world to a father that is unable to take care of himself. It's just time. I need to get back in step with God... I have fallen and slipped and its always hard to get back up, but luckily we have the ability as long as we have the faith.

Divine Intervention

So I recently started a devotional on my phone that was related to DEBT. I thought it was a pretty solid place to start due to the fact that I have been feeling very overwhelmed by money lately (or lack thereof). So as I'm reading all of my passages, I'm secretly thinking about my own debt in the back of my head, and I got to really thinking you know what... its not so bad. I'm 24, I own a house, 2 cars, and everything is going to be great. Enter phone call in the morning on Thursday from Jen. "Hey your car is making a really bad noise... like a grinding metally type maybe fan needing oiled sound." Well that is enough to make anyone sit and wonder what is wrong, but I cannot diagnose anything over the phone even with the oh-so-vivid description of the sound. Then she proceeded to tell me that she really felt that at any moment the car would die, and there it goes... DEAD. She had just gotten into a parking spot luckily, but the car would not start. There is a loss for words to describe what I was feeling, but I assure you that anger and worry were primary. I called my good buddy Justin who helps me out a lot with car stuff and talked to him, and we decided after work we would head out and see what the deal was. So after work, I headed home and Justin met me at my house and we rolled out to the car. I got in and it started right up, but had a TERRIBLE knocking sound and Justin looked at me and just shook his head. So we decided the best bet was going to be for us to come back the next day, tow it to a mechanic, and let them see what the deal was. So we did, and they still havn't gotten back to me, but the owner of the shop told me it did not look good. So I've spent the better part of the day working on Jen's car with Justin, and we're trying to get it up and going. Things are going well and we are just waiting on the rotors to be finished at O'Riley's and then we can put everything back together. Alas, I digress from my original intentions... talking about debt. So my theory of how not too bad off I was is out the door based on my assumptions of what made it seem like I was fine, the fact of owning two cars. But taking this to God, I realized that I am beyond rich due to the fact of the debt of mine that was erased by Jesus. So I'm going to hold my head high regardless of what comes, realize I have a great partner to walk through life with, great friends surrounding me, and a God who is merciful and amazing. So don't feel bad or feel like saying "Oh bummer, that sucks man" because I'm all right with it all at this moment, and if people start feeling bad for me it will make me want to feel bad for myself. I want to take time out to bid a farewell to a car that has been a friend and companion since I was 16. Whether the fix is easy and cheap, or not possible, this experience has opened my eyes to the realization that it is time to move on. Advice is not needed, condolences are not required, but prayers for wisdom in future choices would be much appreciated. Thanks.